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Blessings!

Superwoman

This morning I had the opportunity to drive myself to work. You see, my husband Luke and I work at the same place, which in our eyes, is truly a blessing. We not only get to ride to work together, but we also come home together. What’s funny is that as a teenage girl, I always dreamt of working in full-time ministry with my husband. Honestly, I never thought it would look like this, but grateful I am. It has been a blessing.

You see, I was able to drive myself to work today because Luke and I had another long night with our little guy. For some odd reason, he has once again decided to wake up multiple times throughout the night. I blame it on his teeth. Being that Luke is such a great husband, he did the majority of the night duty, so he ended up coming into work a few minutes late.

As I was driving to work, I just really wanted to worship God. Honestly, it has been a REALLY rough month for the Bennett’s. It all started when Liam got a nasty virus that took him out for a few days. Then Luke got the virus that pretty much put him out of work for a week. Then, we think it attacked me. I ended up in the hospital last Thursday with horrible stomach cramps that would just not go away. They ended up keeping me overnight to monitor the situation and on Friday, sent me home with a diagnosis of a virus. On top of all that, Liam has decided to not sleep through the night. And to make matters worse, I feel as though I am consistently tired.

Needless to say, it has been a rough month

I have to admit, this month has brought about many feelings of inadequacy. Can you relate? I can’t remember a time where I just felt so inadequate as a wife and mother. I have felt as though I don’t measure up. As if I can’t be the “Superwoman” that so many times I feel I need to be. You know, the wife who consistently loves on her husband, cooks seven well rounded meals for him throughout the week, and packs his lunch for him every night. “Superwoman” mom is one who never runs out of patience and knows exactly what to do and say to soothe her crying child, the mom who would never want alone time because that would be horrible, the mom who rocks her baby to sleep every night and in turn, is always the one who gets up in the middle of the night, joyfully. And of course, “Superwoman” always finds time to not only work a full-time job, but she can come home FULL of energy to spend on her child and husband. And last but not least, she not only has the energy, but she finds the time to get a good one hour run in keeping herself in the best possible shape for not only herself, but her husband!

I am far from being Superwoman

As I drove to work all I could do was cry as I listened to the words of the song, “I Gotta Keep Singing” from Mercy Me. Take a look at the lyrics listed below:

Another rainy day
I can't recall having sunshine on my face
All I feel is pain
All I wanna do is walk out of this place
But when I am stuck and I can't move
When I don't know what I should do
When I wonder if I'll ever make it through

I gotta keep singing
I gotta keep praising Your name
Your the one that's keeping my heart beating
I gotta keep singing
I gotta keep praising Your name
That's the only way that I'll find healing

Can I climb up in Your lap
I don't wanna leave
Jesus sing over me
I gotta keep singing

Can I climb up in Your lap
I don't wanna leave
Jesus sing over me
I gotta keep singing

Oh You're everything I need
And I gotta keep singing

Do you feel as though it’s been a long time since your face saw the sunshine? Do you just want to walk away from where you are in life right now? Do you not know what you should do? Do you wonder if you will ever make it through?

If so, let me encourage you to climb into the lap of Jesus and just let Him sing over you. These words brought healing to my soul this morning. I envisioned myself sitting in the lap of Jesus and Him just singing over me-a place that I didn’t want to leave.

Maybe you have hard a rough month too. If so, really find a quiet place and just pour your heart out to God. He wants to bring the sunshine back to your face-the sunshine that you will find when you allow yourself to sit in His lap and let Him sing over you.

Matthew 11:28

"Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly."

Desperate for Strength!

This past weekend was rough. Honestly, at times I felt as though I just couldn't do it. My precious little boy became sick and the truth of the matter is that it wore me out!

Friday we came home after Luke's sister called and said that Liam had a 102 temperature. When we got home, the little guy just looked miserable. We immediately took him to the doctor where he quickly told us, your weekend will not be fun. Not the words I really wanted to hear! And yes, my weekend was not fun!

I remember Friday night being up with Liam at 1:00 in the morning just telling God, "Lord, I can't do this. I don't think I'm cut out for motherhood." I had lost all my strength. I truly felt as though I just could not go on. Not only was I exhausted, but I wanted nothing more than to be able to help my little guy feel better. I remember asking God, "why won't he just sleep! I DESPERATELY need sleep! If I don't sleep, I can't function! God, I can't do this!"

I think it was at that moment when I said, "I can't do this" that He said, "you are absolutely right. You can't do this-you need Me." It was then that I finally realized, how desperately I need Him. How desperately I need His strength. How desperately I need Him to carry me when I feel as though I can't go on. How desperately I just need Him.

As I've thought about this past weekend, I can't help but continually think upon 2 Corinthians 12:9:

"Each time he said, 'My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.' So now I am glad to boast about my weakness, so that the power of Christ can work through me."

You know what? I'm not a perfect a mother and never will be. There are days where I just want to pull my hair out and at times wonder, Lord, are you sure I can do this. It is then that He whispers in my ear, "you can't but I can and I'm here to help you and see you through it."

Where in your life today are you lacking strength? Where in life do you feel as though you can't go on? Trust Him-He will see you through it!

Mini-Makeover Madness

This past Saturday, I woke up just feeling blah and was really sensing that I needed to give myself a "Mini-Makeover". You know, my hair was beginning to look as if it hadn't been touched or brushed in weeks, my wardrobe was lacking (closet full of clothes yet I couldn't "find" anything to wear), nothing seemed to fit anymore, and my nails looked as if they had been through the ringer and back!

Needless to say, I woke up and decided it was time to get myself in order again! I spent the morning focused on this one thing and would not allow anything to get in my way of accomplishing the goal of "getting myself fixed".

Well later that evening, I felt as if the Lord was speaking to me. Now believe me, I do think it's perfectly ok and at times really needed, to get a mini-makeover. I tend to take part in one every few months. But I did feel as if the Lord was asking me whether or not I had ever been so diligent in wanting and desiring a heart makeover. Let me explain.

When I was busy running around on Saturday accomplishing those things that I felt I needed in order to make myself look better on the outside, I would not allow anything to stop me from reaching my goal. I was determined. But yet, Saturday evening I had to truly ask myself, when was the last time I was this diligent in allowing myself to look deep into my heart and in turn, wanted nothing more than to get myself in order again? When was the last time I was "disgusted" by what I saw on the inside, that I would in no way allow anything to get in my way from reading and meditating on God's Word so that my heart could have a mini-makeover? When did I last long for a clean heart? Honestly, it had been some time.

So, Saturday night I spent some time just reading and thinking about this person, Jen Bennett that He created and in turn, spent some time thinking about those "ugly parts" that I really want to change. And you know what? It was refreshing! It was time well spent.

So, you know I have to ask, When was the last time you longed for a heart makeover? Is it time for one in your life?

Confessions of an Imperfect Wife

I have a confession to make. Ready? I fail miserably at being a wife. Let me explain.

A couple of Sunday's ago, I was really looking forward to going to church-with my husband. You see, our pastor Tim Grosshans was going to speak on marriage-you know, that 1 Corinthians 7 chapter. Well, I was really excited about this because I felt like my husband could use a "reminder" about what it meant to be, you know, a good husband. So I was all excited about the "reminders" my husband would be receiving and in turn, was really looking forward to this service.

Well of course, our 10-month old decided to fall asleep in the car (he was truly lacking sleep at that point) and thus, my husband decided to drive around in order to let him sleep. So there I was, going to this marriage service by myself even though I knew it was my husband that needed to be there.

Needless to say, the Lord spoke to me in some big ways. I remember walking out of the service thinking, "Jen, are you serious? Did you really think that you had this marriage thing all figured out? All morning you spent thinking about how good it would be for Luke to be reminded of some things when the reality is Jen, you needed to be reminded of many things!" Some of these things included:

* Snapping at my husband when "moody"

* Becoming easily annoyed over stupid things

* Expecting him to read my mind at all times

* Focusing on the things that would annoy me instead of focusing on the great things about my husband

* Being selfish

* Expecting him to be Jesus-basically, expecting him to be perfect

It was at that point that I realized how desperately I needed God to work in my own life. Instead of always thinking about the things that I felt needed to be changed in my husband, it was time for me to start thinking about the things that Christ wanted to change in my life in order to make me the wife that He not only desires for me to be, but also the wife that my husband deserves to have.

So, let me ask you this-are you always thinking about those areas in the life of your husband that you feel need to be changed, or are you spending more time at the feet of Jesus asking Him to change you and mold you into the wife that He desires you to be?

What areas of your life do you need to change?

NEVER EVER GIVE UP IN LIFE

Does anxiety seem to get the best of you?

I am so excited to share this encouraging post from a great friend of mine, Rosie Wittleder. May her transparency encourage you!

“Papa God, I am a total stress case again. I hate this. There is so much going on that I have never done before and I am extremely out of my comfort zone. I feel like I am in way over my head. And my anxiety is high. Please help me. I know in my head that you wouldn’t have me doing all of this if you didn’t think I could do it with your help. But still this just looks too daunting. Please help me God. I don’t want to waste this day being preoccupied with worry.”

Ladies, this journal entry from 2 weeks ago, gives you just a slight glimpse of the battles I face with anxiety. Can you relate? What things do you worry about? Your children, your marriage, your plans, what others think of you, etc?

There was a woman that could relate to the fear and anxiety that comes with embarking upon a difficult task. And that person is Esther. She risked her life to go speak to the King in order to spare her people, the Jews, from being killed. In Esther 4:11, we see the tough predicament that Esther is in, when Mordecai suggested she approach the king. She says, “All the king’s officials and the people of the royal provinces know that for any man or woman who approaches the king in the inner court without being summoned, the king has but one law: that he be put to death. The only exception to this is for the king to extend the gold scepter to him and spare his life. But 30 days have passed since I was called to go to the king.”

Can you imagine the anxiety Esther must have felt? She knows how miraculous it is that she is queen in the first place. And then, she is challenged to risk her life in order to save her people. To make things worse, the king doesn’t have a close relationship with her, since he hasn’t seen her in 30 days. If all of this isn’t cause for anxiety, I don’t know what is. Yet, Esther was bold. She was courageous. She proceeded to do the right thing even though everything was at stake. The king granted her request, and God used Esther to save his people.

As we relate this to our own lives, how can we overcome such anxiety that can leave us paralyzed in fear? What do we do when we are plagued with anxiety?

I’d like to share with you some of what I am learning about anxiety in Philippians chapter 4. Verses 6 through 8: “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – if anything is excellent or praiseworthy – think about such things.

As I was desperately studying these verses, begging for relief from my anxiety, it came to me in tangible steps how God suggests we deal with this issue:

Step 1 – Petition to God – What does this mean?
Definition of petition: A formal message requesting something that is submitted to an authority. To petition means that at some level we are implying that the person we are approaching is in a place of authority or power. So this step is setting straight what the “org chart” is between God and us, where He is above, and we am under, in terms of power. Thus causing us to realize our need for Him.

Step 2 – Remember what things you are thankful for. Why this is important?
Expressing gratitude gives us a broader scope on the situation, causing our anxiety to start to subside, as we can look at our situation in its proper perspective. Especially after we consider what He’s already done in our lives. When we start out with what we are grateful for, suddenly our perspective begins to change.

Step 3 – Present all of our requests to God
At times, my pride got in the way, as I convinced myself that I didn’t need to give all my requests to Him since I could handle some of them on my own. The problem is, those other requests that I wasn’t presenting to him, were creating additional anxiety because I was frantically trying to solve them on my own. He wants to hear all of our requests, whether big or small.

What is the result of the first three steps? Peace that is beyond our comprehension will guard our minds and hearts. I love that! His peace protects our minds from going wild.

Step 4 – Replace the anxiety we once had, with truth about that situation.
It is important to replace those thoughts we used to have, with thoughts that are true. And choose focus on those things instead. So, during the course of our day, when those fears and anxieties creep up again, we will remind yourself of the truth in that particular situation. This gives us the ability to avoid going down that road of unnecessary anxiety.

For me, the last few months have been plagued with anxiety as I take on a new role of leading women. I feel too young to be able to do this well. In addition, I feel like I have too much baggage to be effective. All of these thoughts create a lot of anxiety for me. But, as I’ve begun to petition to God, come with thankfulness, present all my requests to him, and focus my mind on the things that are true, for the first time I am able to quit worrying about fearful situations for that day.

Today my challenge is, to look at how God suggests we deal with fear and anxiety, as opposed to other options we may take, such as food, shopping, others’ approval, public recognition, or any other choice we may prefer. Dealing with our fears in a healthy way allows us to be able to follow through on His purpose for our lives. So we too can be like Esther, who despite her fear and anxiety, fulfilled her purpose of saving her people. We can do the same, if we will commit to moving through our own fears and anxieties. So, what is God nudging you to surrender to him today that is causing stress, worry, or anxiety?