Do you ever sit back and wonder what happened to the life you once dreamed about? I have. It actually happened on Wednesday. Every Wednesday, our school has Chapel and we have been blessed to have a variety of speakers come and speak words of truth and encouragement to not only our students, but also to the staff.
This past Wednesday we were BLESSED with having Pastor David Uth from First Baptist Orlando. This man is incredible. I watch him speak on TV nearly every Sunday as I get ready to head out to my home church and I can't help but to be challenged and encouraged as I listen to him speak the words of God. Well, before he spoke on Wednesday, he introduced two people he brought with him-the youth minister at First Baptist Orlando and the girl's minister. As soon as he introduced this woman of God and explained that she was the one who specifically worked with the teenage girls at the church, my heart just dropped. Why? Let me explain.
When I was attending seminary, my heart's desire was to work with youth and be in ministry full-time. I had these huge dreams of working in a church where I not only had the opportunity to work with youth, but would also have many opportunities to speak, write, go on mission trips, youth retreats, etc. When I graduated seminary, I did these exact things; in Texas and Florida. But after about three years, not only did my dream fade away, but unfortunately, I was deeply wounded by the church I was working for at the time. So wounded that I wanted nothing more than to get out and get a job at McDonald's. That's how bad it was.
Well, eventually the Lord healed my heart and allowed me to work through my shattered dreams. From that point on, the Lord has blessed me immensly within the field of education. I love education and the reality is, I am still working with youth and in turn, ministering to them on a daily basis. But you know what, on Wednesday, my heart sank when I saw this girl. All I could think about was, "God, what happened? Why did things not work out the way I thought they would? What that girl is doing, is what I dreamed about doing. Lord, I was faithful. I wanted nothing more than to be in ministry and in turn, make an impact for you. Why did things turn out the way they did?" Does any of this sound familiar?
As I went on through my day, I felt as though the Lord was speaking words of encouragement to me. I felt as though He was showing me that even though my life didn't turn out the exact way I had planned, He is still very much using me in ways that I have dreamed about. The truth of the matter is-I am in ministry. I am still working with youth. I still get to go on retreats with teenagers. I still get to minister to teenage girls who are searching for answers. And what's even more amazing is that I actually get to see and talk with these students more often than what a youth minister would. So the reality is, God is using me and is giving me the desires of my heart. Unfortunately though, I was too wrapped up in seeing what somebody else had, when all along I was allowing myself to miss out on what God was doing in my life and how He was truly using me to make a difference.
Do you feel as though some of your dreams have been shattered? Have you wondered why things have turned out the way they have? If so, you are not alone. Rest assured that God knows what your life looks like. He knows the desires of your heart. He knows the dreams that you dream. He desires nothing more than to use you in ways that you can't even begin to imagine. Trust Him. He is faithful. He will do what He has promised to do in your life. Though you may not understand it right now, hang on, He will show you. Believe me, I'm living proof of this. My dreams were at one point shattered, but through that brokenness, the Lord has continued to use me in ways I never even imagined-more than I could have ever of imagined. Not only am I blessed to work with teenagers from an educational standpoint, but He has also blessed me with being able to work with women who are searching for their purpose; women who question whether or not He does have a plan for them. Let me reassure you-He does have a plan for your life. No matter where you have been or what you are currently going through, He has a plan and He promises to work everything out according to His purposes. Stay focused, trust Him, be patient, and watch what He will do. If He did it for me, I can promise you that He will do the same for you!
2 comments:
Wow, Jennifer, thanks for sharing with such transparency. How often we need to be reminded to "run in our own lane," not looking in the lane next to ours at what the other person has or is accomplishing. I've found that a healthy dose of gratitude is a fab antidote--just as your perspective was turned to all of the amazing things the Lord is accomplishing through your life and the blessing you are able to be through Him to others!
Melissa,
Thanks so much for leaving a comment. You are absolutely correct when you state that so many times we need to be reminded about running in our own lane. Many times we tend to focus on how God is working within the life of someone else, and in turn, we fail to see the wonderful things He is doing within our lives. Thanks again for posting. Many blessings! Jen
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