Exercise Daily

Exercising-something so beneficial, yet so hard to not only find the time to do, but also the motivation to do. But as women of purpose, it is vital that we make exercising a priority in our daily lives. Believe me-this post is for me also!

Let me explain. Prior to getting married, I exercised all the time! Honestly, I was in the best shape of my life. I was known as the exercise girl! Not only did I look good, but I felt great! Needless to say, once I was married, I turned into a happy little wife and well, exercising took a back seat. Ever since, it has been a struggle. Not only a struggle to get moving, but a struggle to find a spare moment to actually get some kind of physical activity in my day. So, my goal for the week? To begin moving-not only this week, but every week!

Here are some tips that I too am applying in my life:

1) Make it fun-if you are going to make exercising a part of your daily life, you must do something that you enjoy. If you decide to run because everyone else is running, but yet you HATE running, this exercise routine will not last. Ask yourself, what do you enjoy doing?

2) Time-what do you have the time to do? For me, this has been a tough one. When I used to exercise all the time, I enjoyed going to the gym and the reality is, I still do to this day. But with everything else that is on my plate-getting to the gym is no easy task. As a new mommy who works full-time, I try to spend as much time with my son as possible. The last thing I need is to spend even more time away from him. Not to mention that most gym classes take place during the time my son gets his bath and goes to bed. So, with all of these factors, I've come to the conclusion that what is best for me now is to work out from home. Whether it be walking, running, or working on weights from the house, this is what I need to do in this time of my life. Really think about what you do have time for and what will fit into your schedule. If you try to take part in an exercise program that doesn't flow with your schedule, you're likely to fail.

3) Accountability-Do you have someone that can hold you accountable? Do you have someone that you can work out with? Someone who will push you when you don't feel like working out? You are more likely to succeed when you have someone holding you accountable.

Make exercising a priority-I know I will. What will you do this week to incorporate some physical activity into your life? I'll keep you posted on my progress!

Part Two-Guarding Your Time: Tips for Time Management

Here's Part Two to Guarding Your Time-Tips for Time Management:

7) Simplify your environment
Clutter in your office or home environment can create stress. It can actually make you feel like you have more work than you really do.

8) Simplify your tasks
This may involve over-responding and/or under-responding. For example, when receiving a fax, which needs only a quick response or a confirmation, write your answer on the faxed document and fax it right back. Or, if someone asks you for something specific, and you know that by offering more help than was originally asked you can avoid the form of a problem, then isn't it worth it to do more? Make a point of over-responding to any situation in which there is an opportunity to solve more than one problem in the process.

9) Really listen to others
When you are preoccupied with other thoughts, you actually create anxiety for yourself about what you are listening to and what you allow to intrude into your thoughts. This anxiety is created because you can not act immediately on either. You are left feeling incomplete with both.

10) Decide what you can give up in order to get what you want
One day has only twenty-four hours in it, and yet, how many times have you borrowed from the next day to finish a project thereby losing valuable sleep, or borrowed from your relationships to pursue a goal, or borrowed from your personal time to work on a project? When we choose among multiple possibilities how we will spend our work and/or personal time, we are almost always asked to choose what we will give up in order to have more. Much pain and suffering around "managing time" could be avoided if this process were respected.

11) Find some time each day for quiet reflection
When you commit to spending some time each day suspending your thoughts and judgments and creating inner stillness, you'll train your body and mind what awareness feels like and you can transform how you experience the flow of time.

Take some time this week to really think about how you can improve your time management skills! You'll be happy that you did!

* These "Keys" to Time Management have been taken from The Coaching Starter Kit by Coachville.com, published by W.W. Norton & Company, Inc.

Guard Your Time

Do you end each day wishing you had more time to accomplish the things that you did not get to throughout the day? If so, this post if is for you!

If we truly desire to be women who live lives of purpose, fulfilling that which Christ has for us each day, it is vitally important that we use our time wisely.

Time Management is something we all struggle with at different points in our life. Time management is something I have really had to work on being that my life is non-stop. In addition to working full-time as a high school administrator, I am also a Life Purpose Coach, Educational Consultant, Writer, Speaker, Doctoral student, wife, and mommy. Needless to say, I have had to learn to prioritize my time.

So, what are some time management skills you can apply to your life? Read on!

1) Start with giving your calendar over to God
There is only so much you can handle before it becomes a mess. Believe me, I know. If you really want to prioritize your time management skills, start off by giving your calendar to God. Truly seek Him and ask Him to show you what your calendar should consist of. When you do this, I promise, He will show you.

2) Make God the Priority in Your Life
I don't know how He does this, but every time that I have made God the priority in my life and in turn, have spent time with Him on a daily basis, not only am I able to accomplish everything that I needed to accomplish, but my day goes by much more smoothly. It's like God showing me that when I place Him first, He in turn will indeed take care of my every need. Try this and watch how God will bless your day.

3) Prioritize your efforts
Make the distinction between things that are important and things that are urgent. Most of the time, doing the things that are important, rather than urgent, results in greater effectiveness. In other words, don't major in minor things.

4) Do less to get more
Economize your efforts. For example, when you're boiling a pot of water, let it come to a boil while you do something else, or you can "watch the pot."

5) Reduce excess sources of adrenaline
These are substances, activities, relationships, situations, or attitudes that result in your feeling "charged up". Too much adrenaline can distract you from the focus needed to complete a project, increase feelings of anxiety, and intensify the feeling that time is flying. Over time, excessive adrenaline can have negative health consequences as well.

6) Eliminate time and energy-taxing elements
These are situations, attitudes, or behaviors that you're putting up with in your personal or work life, which don't serve you or your larger purpose but consumer physical, mental, and/or emotional energy. Eliminating them results in an increase in available energy for people and projects, an overall feeling of calm, and more time to get things done.

If you are having trouble with time management, take some time this week to implement some of the "keys" listed above. Also, if you have any time management ideas that you have implemented within your life, please, share those with us! Looking forward to reading your comments and be on the lookout for Part Two of "Keys to Time Management".

* Some of these "Keys" to Time Management have been taken from The Coaching Starter Kit by Coachville.com, published by W.W. Norton & Company, Inc.

Investing in Yourself

You know what I find to be mind boggling? Technology! If I’m correct, I really thought that with all the advancements in technology, we would have more time to focus on ourselves. But, if you’re anything like me, you tend to grasp for time where you can actually invest in yourself. It seems that with all the “upgrades” that have taken place, we have become much busier. Is life really supposed to be this busy? I don’t think so!

Take a minute to ask yourself, when was the last time you truly invested in yourself? As women, it’s so easy to allow ourselves to continually be on the run meeting the needs of others that we fail to make it a priority to take time out for ourselves. We often times get caught up in meeting the needs of spouses, children, friends, family, employers, employees, etc., that before we know it, we are completely burned out and longing for some “me” time. At times, we even tend to feel guilty for taking that “me” time. Let me share with you a few steps to help get you that time you so desperately need and want:

1) What is wasting your time? This is a question you must ask yourself. Take time this week to write down what you do every day and the amount of time it takes you to do what you do. You might be surprised. For me, I tend to waste time watching TV. After a long day, I just want to sit and veg on the couch doing something that requires no brain power. But you know what? This is a huge time waster. Instead, I need to spend that time doing those things that energize me.

2) Schedule time for yourself. If it’s hard for you to find time for yourself, make it a priority to schedule a time on the calendar for you to truly invest in yourself. Sometimes writing out that “appointment” will free up your schedule for “me” time.

3) Learn to say no. Do you tend to say yes to everything? If so, you need to begin to learn to say no. Really ask yourself-are the things that I am involved with allowing me to use my gifts, skills, and talents that God has blessed me with? Am I passionate about what I am doing? Do I look forward to those things that I am part of? If you find that you tend to take on “things” due to guilt, you must find a way out. You must learn to say no. By saying no, you not only open the door to more time for yourself, but you also open the door to opportunities that will energize you.

4) Wake up early. If your days and nights tend to be extremely busy-make it a point to wake up early when everyone else is sleeping. Take time to enjoy the quietness of the house. Enjoy investing in yourself before the craziness of the day gets started.

So, what changes will you make this week in order to invest in yourself?

Investing in Others

As we continue to take steps towards becoming women who live lives of purpose, we must not forget to take the time to invest in others, step number six. Be sure to click on the link below for a past post on Investing in Others.As you go through the weekend, ask yourself, who can I invest in this week? Until next time!

http://coachjenniferbennett.blogspot.com/2010/04/investing-in-others.html

Be a Life Long Learner

So far, we have examined four of the twenty-six steps (Trust, Focus on Today, Forgive, Love Others) each of us must consider and implement into our lives in order to become the best that we can be-namely, women of purpose. When we started this journey, I posed three questions that I really wanted you to consider. As you continue to go through each of the steps, always be mindful of these questions:

1) Who are you becoming?
2) What Legacy will you leave behind?
3) Are you blooming in such a way that people are naturally drawn to you and who you are?

The fifth step is probably one of my favorite steps of all time-Be a Life Long Learner. How are you doing in this area? What was the last thing you learned? In order to become women of purpose who live lives that Glorify God, we must be willing to learn on a daily basis. Let me share with you 8 steps to that will help you in this endeavor:

1) Always have a book with you.
What was the last book you read? What did you learn from it? Reading books are probably one of the best ways to not only grow as an individual, but also a great way to challenge yourself. You should make it a priority to read for at least 15-minutes a day. Always have a book on you. Anyone that has seen my “purse” will tell you that I usually have 2-3 books in it. I take books with me everywhere because you never know when you will have the opportunity to read. Just yesterday as I was getting my pedicure, I spent that time reading. Always have a book with you!

2) Surround yourself with people you can learn from.
What people do you surround yourself with? Are they people that you can learn from? Or are they people who tend to encourage bad habits or negative thoughts? Make it a point to seek out people that you can learn from. You will be a better person for it!

3) Learn from your mistakes.

One of the best ways you can learn is to learn from your mistakes. If you are not learning from your mistakes, you are bound to continue making them over and over again. What was the last mistake you made? What can you learn from it? Spend some time thinking about this and writing down your thoughts.

4) Listen to Podcasts.
With the advancements that have taken place in technology, there is no excuse for you to not be learning. Check out the many Podcasts that are available-listen to them. Listen to them on your way to work, as you run errands, as you exercise, etc. There are multiple opportunities for you to learn through this venue.

5) Connect with a mentor/coach.
Are you currently being mentored by someone? Whether it is a friend, someone you look up to, or even a coach, be sure to have someone in your life that will hold you accountable and challenge you in all areas of your life. Make it a priority to meet with them at least once a month either in person or over the phone.

6) What interests you?
Think about those things that really interest you. What is it that you are passionate about? Seek out learning in those areas. When you are learning about your interests, you are much more likely to make your learning a priority.

7) Attend workshops/conferences/seminars.
When was the last time you attended a workshop, conference, and/or seminar? You don’t have to travel far to find learning opportunities through these venues. Check out your local library, they are always offering free learning opportunities. Additionally, many organizations today provide online learning which gives you the opportunity to learn from the comfort of your home.

8) Always ask questions .
Last but not least, always ask questions. Whether you are surrounded by a group of people, or are cuddled up on the couch reading a book-question everything you read, hear, and see. Ask yourself if it lines up with God’s word. The more questions you ask, the more you learn.

Let me challenge you to pick one avenue of learning you plan on pursuing this month. Check out your local library, look into listening to a podcast, head to the bookstore, etc. How will you commit to being a life long learner?

Steps to Loving Others

Loving Others-easier said than done. But yet, as followers of Christ, we are called to love others. Matthew 22:36-39 says it perfectly:

"Teacher, which command in God's Law is the most important?
Jesus said, 'Love the Lord your God with all your passion and prayer and intelligence.' This is the most important, the first on any list. But there is a second to set alongside it: 'Love others as well as you love yourself.' These two commands are pegs; everything in God's Law and the Prophets hangs from them" (The Message).

Our purpose in life is to not only love God with every fiber of our being, but we must also love others as much as we love ourselves. Yes, even those who tend to get on our last nerve! Look at what Matthew 5:43-47 has to say:

"You're familiar with the old written law, 'Love your friend,' and its unwritten companion, 'Hate your enemy.' I'm challenging that. I'm telling you to love your enemies. Let them bring out the best in you, not the worst. When someone gives you a hard time, respond with the energies of prayer, for then you are working out of your true selves, your God-created selves. This is what God does. He gives his best—the sun to warm and the rain to nourish—to everyone, regardless: the good and bad, the nice and nasty. If all you do is love the lovable, do you expect a bonus? Anybody can do that. If you simply say hello to those who greet you, do you expect a medal? Any run-of-the-mill sinner does that” (The Message).

Here’s what I love about these verses-it clearly states that we are to love our enemies and in turn, allow them to bring out the best in us, not the worst. I don’t know about you, but when it comes to loving those who I tend to not “like” – unfortunately, the worst in me comes out, not the best. When was the last time you allowed someone to get on your last nerve and in turn, allowed them to get the best of you? Scripture tells us that when someone gives us a hard time, respond through prayer-give it your best-let them bring out the best in you. Not only will you bring a smile to the face of God, but you will walk away feeling at peace and demonstrating to those around you, the heart of God.

Lastly, let me share with you 10 steps that you can follow in your quest to love others. These steps come straight from God’s word and His definition of Love:

1 Corinthians 13:3-7: “If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don't love, I've gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I'm bankrupt without love.

Love never gives up.
Love cares more for others than for self.
Love doesn't want what it doesn't have.
Love doesn't strut,
Doesn't have a swelled head,
Doesn't force itself on others,
Isn't always "me first,"
Doesn't fly off the handle,
Doesn't keep score of the sins of others,
Doesn't revel when others grovel,
Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
Puts up with anything,
Trusts God always,
Always looks for the best,
Never looks back,
But keeps going to the end” (The Message).

1)Love is a choice-don’t give up!
Wake up every morning choosing to love those that the Lord places in your path. Love is a choice-you choose whether or not to love those that you come into contact with. Start your day off choosing to love others.

2)It’s not about you.
When it comes to loving others, you must look beyond yourself. What needs are there around you? Who’s hurting? Who needs a helping hand? Who’s struggling? Remember-this life is not about you. When you spend time reaching out to others, you end up walking away feeling blessed. God wants to use you to reach out to others.

3)Be Content.
Be content with what you have and where God has placed you. If you tend to fall for the “grass is greener on the other side” syndrome, you will have a hard time loving others. Remember, it’s not about you. Be happy with the many blessings that are in your life. When you are content, you allow yourself to extend love to those around you.

4)Keep your emotions in check.
Do you tend to fly off the handle at every little thing? Do you think everyone is against you? Do you take everything the wrong way? If you are going to fulfill God’s command to love others, you must keep your emotions in check. Check them at the door every morning. Meditate on God’s word throughout the day. Commit to memorizing scripture on a weekly or even monthly basis-scripture that will help you keep your emotions in check.

5)Forgive others.
Colossians 3:13 says it best:
“So, chosen by God for this new life of love, dress in the wardrobe God picked out for you: compassion, kindness, humility, quiet strength, discipline. Be even-tempered, content with second place, quick to forgive an offense. Forgive as quickly and completely as the Master forgave you. And regardless of what else you put on, wear love. It's your basic, all-purpose garment. Never be without it” (The Message).
Remember, love keeps no records of wrongs. You must learn to let the past be the past.

6)Trust God Always.
When you fully trust God with every area of your life-all you can do is love others because you have a quiet steadfast faith that God is who He is says He is and He will do what He says He will do.

7)Focus on the positive.
Do your thoughts tend to focus on the negative things that are taking place in your life or on the positives? Focus on the good that God has blessed you with. Once again, when you do, you are much more open to loving others.

8)Slow Down.
I don’t know about you, but when I am on the go, go, go-not only am I exhausted, but I tend to become grumpy and even a little snappy. When my attitude gets this way, I definitely do not love others. If you find yourself always on the go, not getting enough sleep, etc.-slow down. To love others effectively, you must slow your pace.

9)Tame the tongue.
Learn to speak words of blessing rather than criticism. Instead of looking at things with a critical perspective, learn to speak words of blessing. Be a woman who only allows “good” to come from her mouth.

10)Stay tuned into Christ.
Make it a priority to chat with God on a daily basis along with reading His love letter to you on a daily basis. Above all else, this will empower you to love others!

My challenge to you this week? Love others! Who you will you extend your love to this week?

Until next time!

Forgiveness

“Can you recall a time when you fell short in your relationship with someone and needed to be forgiven? Or a time when you were wronged by someone and had to make a decision to forgive the person or carry a grudge? These situations cause us to gravitate in one of two directions: healing and reaping the rewards of personal freedom or facing the damage of bitter resentment. These choices, when made repeatedly over time, determine whether we will live a life of sadness or joy, a life of regrets or God’s best” (Brazelton, 79).

Did you know that choosing to not forgive can keep you from experiencing God’s absolute best for you? Unfortunately, many of us get so caught up in the trap of holding on to bitterness and unforgiveness that we end up living a life that is characterized by anger and resentment. Personally, I tend to stay away from people who hold onto grudges. Why? Because all they focus on is the bitterness, hurt, and anger that they have experienced and quite frankly, it ends up bringing me down. Who wants to be around that?

“People who forgive become less angry, more hopeful, less depressed, less anxious, less stressed, more confident, and they learn to like themselves more” (Luskin, 78).

As a woman of God, what are you known for? Are you known as a woman who forgives and allows God to take those hurtful experiences and turn them into something beautiful? Or do you tend to hold onto the hurts and allow them to “run” your life? If you desire to truly experience God’s best for you and your life, forgiveness must be a part of your vocabulary and daily life. You will experience much hurt, grief, and rejection in your lifetime. We live in a fallen world that is full of sinners. But the good news is that God knows everything that you have experienced and He promises to take the bad and make it into something good.

Let me challenge you this week to truly allow God to work in your life and in turn, open your heart to forgiveness. It will not be easy, but the end goal will be a life that is not only pleasing to God, but one that is filled with purpose and fulfillment. Who do you need to forgive this week?

Until next time!

Dr. Katie Brazelton, Live Big!, page 79.
Dr. Fred Luskin, Forgive for Good: A Proven Prescription for Health and Happiness, page 78.